Protocol Snow

I was slow to jump on the Steam bandwagon, but I’m beginning to be a believer. Audiosurf, the first SteamWorks game, was just released on the PC a few days ago and it has done nothing but impress.

Audiosurf is a rhythm/puzzle hybrid that features the music on your own hard drive. The game analyzes the song and spits out a racing track for you to play that dips and bumps in time with the music. It’s very reminiscent of Rez in that respect, and the pace of your “vehicle” on the track matches perfectly with the tempo of the song. Slow, melodic moments will have you cruising uphill, then the beat kicks in and all of a sudden you’re plunging down the mountain at breakneck speeds as lights pop in the background.

I’m surprised how songs of all genres seem to work well with this game. You might think techno tracks would be best, but I’ve tried Mozart, J-pop, and jazz and they all fit in well (though experimentation with individual tracks is required).

I’ve mentioned that this is a rhythm/puzzle game, but there’s actually several modes within Audiosurf. The puzzle modes have you collecting different color bricks on the track and matching like colors, which is decent. But my preferred mode has nothing to do with puzzles and more with pure ninja reflex. The track will be littered with either gray bricks or color bricks, and your task is to weave around the gray and collect the colors.

Nothing I type can capture the game so download the demo and give it a shot. You can only try 4 of your songs before the demo locks up, but it’ll give you a good idea of what to expect. Alternatively, check out this video. If watching this doesn’t get you interested in the game, then it’s not for you. And as the video shows, yes the game works with any mp3 you want.

The newest patch/update to Team Fortress 2 comes out today with a remake of Badlands, a popular Team Fortress Classic map. How sweet, what a lovely Valentine’s present. I have only eyes for you, Valve!

On the subject of TF2 and love, check out this machinima about the tender relationship between a Heavy and a Medic. Skip to the 3:40 mark unless you want to listen to a review about Sim City Societies (Zero Punctuation reviews were funny at first, but their shtick is getting old).

Lastly, soak in the hotness of this photo as Danny Choo once again ventures out into Tokyo and troops it up, this time accompanied by a couple idols. He is an inspiration to otakus everywhere. Happy Valentine’s Day!

Rez in its full 1080p, 5.1 surround sound glory hit Xbox Live Arcade today. A measly $10 gets you one of the best sensory experiences you’ll ever have without resorting to recreational drugs. Combining the two may lead to the opening of an illusory phantom zone where colorful wireframes taste like candy and the blood in your arteries dance to the beat. Rez is one of my favorite games of all time and embodies the spirit of the Sega Dreamcast, which in its brief lifespan was lucky to showcase the creativity of the industry’s best at their best.

I never explained how I arrived at my new moniker “Protocol Snow”. For years, I was known online as “Snow Wolf”, a handle inspired by a historical fiction novel of the same title about a plot to assassinate Joseph Stalin during the Cold War.  I first started using it around 1998 when I was a hardcore Team Fortress Classic player. Around last year, I started thinking of a new name since “Snow Wolf” is surprisingly common and I wanted something more original. It just so happened that I was blasting the soundtrack to Rez at the time, and the song playing was the Area 2 track. Its title: Protocol Rain.

If you haven’t seen the news, Darth Vader and Yoda have been confirmed to be playable characters in Soul Calibur 4. I don’t even know what to say about this, it’s the most ridiculous idea I’ve ever heard. Again, that’s coming from a guy who loves Street Fighter the Movie.

Yes, I know that Link was in Soul Calibur 2. And that Final Fantasy characters meet Disney characters in Kingdom Hearts. And that Mario and company played basketball with NBA stars in NBA Street V3.

Actually, maybe this doesn’t seem as bad in comparison.

Watch the trailer to see Mitsurugi and Darth Vader clashing sword and lightsaber.

Penny Arcade comics are hit-or-miss, but they do have some classics. They recently started a service selling full size prints of virtually all their comics and I decided to pick up a few of my favorites for decorating purposes.

The comics come printed on thick stock paper and seem perfect for hanging on the wall. I’m happy with them, though the customer service at the Penny Arcade store could use some work. I never got notification that my order was shipped and my order status on the website is still blank. After 10 business days, I sent them an email asking if they were having problems printing the comics, but never got a reply. The comics showed up all of a sudden yesterday though, 12 business days after my order.

I have it all planned out. When I’m officially a licensed doctor, this is going up in my office. Orange Box DVD next to the poster to give you an idea of the print scale.
Original comic

This one will be displayed in my game room. The comic’s actually referring to the John Woo Stranglehold game, I don’t know why I put Mass Effect next to it. From what I hear though, Mass Effect is so good that it can blast your nuts off and you’ll grin. I’ll finally play it for myself today.
Original comic

And this last one will be in the bathroom. Maybe even in the women’s restroom if I have my own clinic someday.
Original comic

I’m leaving for Los Angeles and winter break today yay!!!

Here’s an example of how addicted I am to Team Fortress 2. I was driving on the freeway today and was behind a group of cars. I couldn’t help thinking how… exposed their backs were and how juicy of a target they were.

Prime time for some back stabbing and multi-kills. My left hand on the steering wheel was practically hitting an invisible “3” key to switch to my knife.

(For the uninitiated, I like playing the spy class in TF2. It involves a lot of sneaky disguises and cloaking to maneuver around the enemy team and backstab for instant kills. Other favorite classes: demoman, pyro)

Mass Effect for Xbox 360 comes out tomorrow. It’s the latest space opus RPG by BioWare (developers of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic and Baldur’s Gate) and according to most everyone, it is a can’t miss game and a shining gem to the 360 library.

Whether I’m going to get it or not is not the question. But when should I play it? I have the next 5 days off for Thanksgiving, which would seem like a perfect opportunity to sink my teeth into a RPG. But without the luxury of a HDTV at my apartment, I’m afraid I’ll miss out on the gorgeous subtleties of the facial expressions in the conversation system as well as other pretty niceties. I guess I could play it through a second time when I go home for Christmas break, but will I really want to do that?

On the other hand, I actually got a Wii and Super Mario Galaxy yesterday. More on that purchase experience next time. Thank you Wii for making my decision for me. You don’t even support HD lolz!